Well, why was I in Oakland? For the Alicia Keys Freedom Tour! It was absolutely incredible. She is quite the artist, quite the woman. We didn't really get to see Melanie Fiona, but hey, that was fine, as long as we got to see the very sexy Robin Thicke! Wow, what a powerful guy. He had a whole arena of women swooning! When the backdrop was revealed and it said Robin Thicke - Sex Therapy in sexy black and red, the ladies were sold! Oracle Arena instantly turned into a giant coliseum of rabid, lusty women, hands grabbing and arms stretched out, reaching for the sexy flesh that is Robin Thicke, so ready were they to tear the-- oh shit that was just me. Rambling.
Well, Mr. Robin Thicke was a great warm-up for my impaired lungs. Yes, I put her through a lot - hard hours at the gym had got them panting, and she gasped for air after each cigarette and harsh bong rip. But at this concert, my lungs had to deal with all the hyperventilating and adolescent schoolgirl screaming that was provoked by Robin Thicke's rotating hips, gyrating and thrusting and-- oh shit- ... Rambling again.
Basically my throat hurt from all the excitement (although my friend Rachael still beat me in that department). Of course you have to scream at each song change, and each time the artist speaks. Every word. Yes. Scream.
She sang all of her hit songs spanning her four (amazing) albums, plus some lesser knowns, like "Superwoman". Trust, you think her song sounds good on CD and with yo good speakers and shit, but you ain't HEARD her sing live! Girl can sing like no other! One of my faves from the concert was a lively upbeat version of "No One" and a godly "Wait till U See My Smile".
Somewhere along the line some scrappy bitches in the back were clawing at each other and fighting and shit. Not cool, girl!
I was totally jealous of all her outfits, nothing flashy, no costumes, but pure sophisticated Alicia: black blazers, leather leggings, a white dress made for a goddess. Ugh. So jealous.
She finished off with "Empire State of Mind", where she had to replace the "New Yorrkkkkk" with 'Oakland' a couple times.
Great concert. Great everything: great backup singers, background dancers, audio/visuals. I must say I was quite annoyed with the narrowness of the seats, but all was made up for with the amazing acoustics of the arena, and hearing Alicia's celestial voice...and Robin... oh shit!
I should say, though, that I have absolutely no clue as to how we ladies arrived at the concert. It is a fact that I drove, but it shan't have been my car - of all things - that I drove. No, no, it can't have been! It was a space shuttle that I drove, yes. I think I was supposed to have driven my white Toyota Prius there, but after that ridiculously fat joint that a certain friend of mine constructed was smoked between us, my car turned into a spaceship! That is the only explanation possible.
Yes, I was impossibly blazed a good portion of the concert.
[in soft voice]And the space shuttle...took off...
Oh boy, am I high right now. I see that shuttle now, flying off into the universe.
See ya later, Buzz.
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